Let’s talk about sex with Désir

In the past, if you mentioned the words ‘sex toys’ or ‘adult shop’ to most people, you’d get a few raised eyebrows with images of some seedy old guy manning a store full of porno mags and blue movies being conjured up. Fortunately, times have changed and you’ve more than likely attended a sex toy party – they’re a dime a dozen these days with the advent of hen’s parties replacing a more traditional kitchen tea.

But, there’s still a little stigma attached to actually purchasing anything at those parties, with girls much happier to pass a big dildo around, than actually proclaim in front of everyone that they want to take it home! Now before you wonder why on earth I’m writing about this, the team at Désir approached me recently to see if I would be keen to do a little write up on both their online and physical store, which is down in Cape Town.

I thought about it long and um, hard and decided it was high time I got my thoughts about these places out in the open. I am 100% for them, so if you’re not, then this is not an article for you. But for the rest of you, stick around, because this is where it gets a bit raunchy.

*If you read on and you’re offended by any of what I say or what you see, just remember you were told this was not for you…

I’ve been to many sex toy parties, for both gay and straight hen’s parties and let me tell you, they are lots of fun. I’ve even been to a discreet sex toy shop for an evening with some girlfriends where all the hardware was demonstrated – by hand people, now-now! All the married women left with cock rings and all the single ladies with various sized vibrators and dildos. With each single and married women respectively jealous of the other for their purchases – all rather funny!

What is it about the word dildo though – it sounds so silly!? Like surely someone could give it a more robust name? I googled it and Wikipedia claims the origin of the name is unknown with a few possible references to a peg on a boat which is similarly shaped, some European town and the Italian word for desire – diletto. In any case, it’s all rather vague, which I suppose is where most people’s minds are when thinking about these toys.

You’ve either got one (or ten) or you don’t. It’s that simple.

If you’ve never tried one and think people who have are deviant and twisted, again this is not for you. But if you’re single they can certainly spice up a quiet Friday night!
And if you’re attached, well then let’s just say that when used in the right environment, they can enhance your relationship and love making in a big way. (No pun intended)

So, back to Désir, I had a squizz around their online store and was impressed at the wide variety of products on offer. It’s not all hardware, so if you’re looking for some hen’s night props, or want to start off with just a sexy pair of knickers (they cater for us curvy ladies!) and a black blindfold, then this is still the place to do so. They even stock the Durex Play lubricants you can find in Clicks, but are always too skaam to add to your shopping basket without blushing – score :)
And what’s better than shopping online!? Not much!

No queues, no snide sideways looks as you exit a sex toy shop, no one asking if you need help when you have a big black vibrator in your hand… “Erm, no thanks, I’m just ‘browsing’.”

Products on the website are clearly explained and some have info videos, but there’s also a helpline number which you can call, to chat to a consultant if you have any questions. If you are in Cape Town, you can pop into their store in Camp’s Bay for discreet, yet professional service.

You can go all Fifty Shades and fill your shopping basket with an array of light bondage accessories, or keep it tidy with massage oil and candles, or some silky pillow cases – the choice is yours. When making payment, rest assured that no embarrassing names will appear on your bank statement and when your package is delivered to your door within 24 hours, you will receive a normal RAM Couriers waybill bag, with no reference to the products inside.

So, my advice… Go have a look at their site yourself. I really do think that a lot of fun can be had with sex toys and whilst the hardcore stuff is not suitable for everyone, there’s much to be said about respecting the needs of everyone out there. So if a single guy finds solace in his fleshlight (yes there is such a thing, go look) and a couple can rekindle a lagging sex life with a Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo (this one has me SO intrigued!), then I’m all for it.

Be safe and enjoy yourself, life’s too short to have too few orgasms ;)

Showroom: 13 Totnes Ave, Bakoven, Cape Town – open Mon to Fri 9am to 3:30pm
Tel: 0860 994 160


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